Mythbusters: Is This Post-Communist Land of Vodka and Pierogies Secretly a Software Development Outsourcing El Dorado? (Hint: It Ain’t Russia!)

There’s this Polish saying from the previous century that goes, “Czy się stoi, czy się leży, tysiąc złotych się należy,” which loosely translates to, “Shut up and pay me, or I will kill you.”

Kidding! That’s not what it says. It’s more like, “Whether you’re sitting or you’re standing, a thousand zloty is expected.”

(Okay, so I can’t rhyme. Don’t judge me.)

The point is, Poles are thought of as lazy bastards who will slack off at work whenever they can, then expect to be paid fairly and in full. Like so:

Well, that stereotype may have held water back in the Polish People’s Republic, when everything was a mess and nothing made sense, but these days, it couldn’t be further from the truth.

In fact, Microsoft News reports that…

Poles are the seventh hardest-working nation in the world

…with an average workweek of 36.4 hours and the unemployment rate sitting at 5.7%—one of the lowest in Europe.

With overtime rates of 50% or 100%—at nights, Sundays, and holidays—it’s also not uncommon for Polish workers to put in the extra hours.

Sooo… yeah, hate to disappoint, but Poles actually put a lot of other nations to shame with how diligent we are. Sorry! Better luck next time, prejudice!

Hardly a pretty picture, no?

And 30–40 years ago, you’d be right to assume that that’s how a lot of places in Poland looked like.

Not anymore.

Let’s make one thing clear: if it hadn’t been for the anything-but-glorious days of the PPR, we’d basically be Wakanda by now, mmkay?

That’s the thing about Poles, though: you can’t keep us down for long. Many have tried, all have failed. We’ve been making a comeback since 1989 and it is going great.

So great, in fact, that Poland was recently upgraded from an Emerging Market to a Developed Market.

This status change sort of speaks for itself, but in case you’re just dying to know what it means for our country and its future, our CEO was invited to a Bloomberg Live event alongside other C-level executives from Poland to discuss just that.

Here’s our TL;DR, and here’s the full panel:

If you start googling stereotypes about Poles, the most common one you’ll come across is that Poles are, how should I put this delicately… stupid.

To that, I can only say… whaaat?

Okay, first of all, we have a number of Nobel Prize winners in all categories, the most recent one being the brilliant Olga Tokarczuk for literature.

Secondly, 44% of Poles receive higher education as of 2018—a 12% increase from a decade before and close to the OECD average.

Finally, Polish specialists are in increasingly high demand, especially in the field of software development.

According to HackerRank…

Polish developers are the third best in the world!

I was surprised we rank that high myself!

It’s safe to say we’re killing it in tech. We even have a member in the Python Software Foundation—and not just any member, but a Vice Chair on the Board of Directors!

So, no, our greatest national success isn’t The Witcher—although it’s a remarkable achievement in its own right.

An achievement of literature…

…game development…

…and streaming television!

(Yes, the books came first, Mr. Sapkowski. We know.)

And if you need any more evidence that Poles are cool and smart, not lame and dumb, Keanu Reeves himself is going to be featured in CD Projekt Red’s upcoming video game Cyberpunk 2077. Yeah!

Aww, thanks, Keanu! But, really—you are.

Check out the Cyberpunk 2077 trailer below if you like. It’s a thing of beauty!

That… is actually true.

I mean, just look at this:

Look at it! Crazy, huh?

Polish consistently ranks near the top of every list of the hardest languages in the world ever. Kind of like the Boston dialect of American English is one of the most challenging:

But that’s all right. Not everything needs to be handed on a silver plattah, am I right?

By the way, linguistic difficulties aren’t the only thing Poland and Boston have in common:

It’s a whole thing. An inside joke, I guess.

Ask anyone, anywhere the first thing that comes to mind when they think of Poland, and 9 times out of 10 you’ll hear “vodka.” Or, you know, a certain word that starts with “ku” and ends with “rwa,” but that’s beside the point.

Our reputation as the world’s most shameless nation of alcoholics precedes us internationally wherever we go. It can get pretty annoying, actually!

Let me tell you straight away: that’s just hogwash. I, for instance, didn’t have so much as a sip the entire time I was writing this piece.

All right, fine, so we do like our drink. But we can stop whenever we like! Seriously. It’s not a problem. None whatsoever. Unless we have guests.

Really, though, most of that is just part of our natural charisma and hospitality. Never let it be said that Poles don’t know how to have a good time or go out of our way to show it to our visitors.

On that note, man, do we throw one hell of a party! And they don’t necessarily (always) involve (only) drinking. Take our annual Tech Power Summit event, for example, where education meets entertainment and fun is had with or without booze:

Apparently, some believe potatoes are the first and last ingredient of every meal we Poles make and eat in this agricultural wonder that is our country.

Nonsense! Traditional Polish cuisine has a rich and colorful history of variety.

Take the famous “kopytka”…

…the typical Polish dinner…

…and last but not least, the crown jewel of our cuisine and symbol of national pride: the pierogies…

…all of which by complete happenstance are made or served with… uh… potatoes.

Okay, okay, so we do love our potatoes. Sue us!

Let me tell you, though: we cook the living daylights out of those spuds.

They’re versatile, easy to use, and go well with pretty much anything!

Dare I say potatoes are…

Oh, and you know what else is versatile, easy to use, and goes well with pretty much anything?

That’s right: it’s Python!

Yep, yep, a totally obvious connection to make, no self-interest here whatsoever.

I mean, it’s not like we’re the #1 Python and Django developer in the world or anything:

Ah, yes, the eternal question on everybody’s mind (not really): where even is Poland, exactly?!

Contrary to popular belief, Poland isn’t here:

It’s actually here:

Uh, wait, that’s not right.

There. Nailed it! Not Russia. Gotcha. Page: same.

With pesky geography out of the way, we can move on to national symbols, such as, I don’t know, the flag!

No, not this one. Close, though!

Get it?

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Flag_of_Poland.svg

That’s right!

I could go on and run the joke to the ground, but… enough is enough; you get the point. A lot of people get some basic stuff about Poland wrong. Big whoop. It’s fine. It’s fine.

Source: https://gph.is/2HThg52

So, yeah. Hi there. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Wanna write some software?

No? Okay, then.

Just kidding… or am I?

Well, this is just false. I mean, I’m Polish, and you’re not reading this in Polish, are you?

Yet the stereotype persists. It’s not entirely without merit, since Polish is the first language for 97% of our country’s population, but over 20 other languages are spoken in Poland—most notably German, Russian, and of course English.

In fact, Poland recently ranked 11th in the 2019 EF English Proficiency Index, displaying “very high proficiency” in English. Granted, the vast majority of participants in the survey were under 40, but you gotta start somewhere, right?

I’d say our historical background gives us a pass there.

Speaking foreign languages—especially English—is essential in business. Without it, there can be no culture fit. We know it and you know it.

Thankfully, our clients know it, too:

Uhhh… Have you read this article?

Didn’t think so!

To be clear: yeah, no. Some of us might be more sensitive to certain jokes than others, but on the whole we’re pretty chill about things and don’t have a problem making fun of ourselves.

Case in point, behold the legendary Polish Man:

In the words of the late, great Stan Lee:

I mean, that’s just badass.

Poles get a lot of bad rap, both abroad and within our own country. Some of it deserved, some not so much.

Sure, we’re not the most like-minded lot, we often sell ourselves short, and we have a tendency to make less-than-stellar (first) impressions. Fair enough, all true.

But there’s much more than meets the eye to this strange, little nation of ours. It’s like what Gandalf tells Frodo in The Fellowship of the Ring:

All right, it’s an imperfect comparison. But if history has taught us anything, it’s that Poles have an uncanny ability to adapt to new circumstances and overcome unexpected obstacles.

On that note—since you’ve spent all this time reading about Poles—what are your thoughts on meeting with two Poles and one Canadian?

Allow me to explain.

Our CEO, VP of Engineering, and Director of Business Development will be in Boston and New York on March 11–18. They’d love to get some face time with you and discuss building software together.